When less is more: how to shorten sentences and sound more convincing

It all starts with good intentions. We want to find the best words to reflect on the subject, provide explanations so the writing is exhaustive, and add those two adjectives in case one wasn’t expressive enough. As a result, instead of being just deep, the text becomes a deep water where the reader risks drowning looking for sense. How can we shorten sentences without compromising the content and quality? Let’s break it down.

How long is too long?

First of all, not all long sentences are problematic. Moreover, we need them to keep our writing well-paced and rhythmic. The key is balance: alternating longer and shorter sentences makes your piece well-sounded and never bores the reader.

For this reason, we are not looking for a specific number of words in each sentence, but considering an average. For example, Martin Cutts, in his Oxford Guide to Plain English, suggests 15-20 words per sentence as an average benchmark for a well-balanced text. That means some sentences should be trimmed so the text doesn’t sound monotonous.

Here are some strategies for approaching the task without compromising the meaning. Spoiler: your writing will even sound sharper and more convincing!

1. Split it into two

Sometimes the easiest way is the most effective one. When the sentence is too long and complicated, especially including several subjects and containing complex punctuation, split it into two! (Compare: Split the sentence into two when it’s too long and complicated. Especially if it includes several subjects and contains complex punctuation.)

2. Make it active

Passive voice is one of the most popular tricks to make writing sound more formal, while active voice is the most effective way to make your text dynamic. It also requires fewer words.

Compare: The flower was planted by Harry. VS Harry planted the flower.

3. Beware of adverbs and adjectives

Adverbs and adjectives are not enemies. However, when a bit overused in an honest, genuine attempt to make our writing more precise, exhaustive, and well-sounding, they become a little overwhelming and confusing, making our sentence a bit long and excessive. Cut them out wherever they are not absolutely necessary. (VS Cut them out when they are not necessary.)

The point is not to make your text unemotional and colourless: look for stronger ways to express what you want!

Compare: Children were jumping cheerfully and carelessly in the sea. VS Children were frolicking in the sea.

4. Get rid of the water

Filler and redundant words add word count but no value besides the “water” to reach the required number of symbols. But water is what makes our text a place to drown instead of deep, remember?

Think “really,” “very,” “just,” and “actually” that sound natural in conversation but don’t work in a written text, especially an academic one.

Think “due to the fact that” and “in spite of the fact that” when you can simply say “because” and “although”.

Make a habit of questioning every complex construction you encounter–is there a simpler way to say it?

Compare: At this point in time, we are not considering this offer. VS We are not considering this offer now.

5. Choose strong verbs

The noun forms of the verbs are another construction that sounds complex, sometimes too much. Use the active verb instead–your sentence will also sound more energetic!

Compare: They weren’t ready to make a commitment to the project. VS The weren’t ready to commit to the project.

6. Call it by its name

Sometimes, overcomplicating comes from trying to hide the real subject behind the elaborate phrases or to pass off the topic as more complex than it is. Don’t be shy to sound more direct and specific.

Compare: The issue brought up by numerous experts in their reports has been a significant concern for a considerable group of people. VS Two faculty members want to discuss the schedule at today’s meeting.

7. Watch out for prepositional phrases

Prepositional phrases are heavy constructions that lengthen any sentence, often unnecessarily. Pay attention to prepositions in sentences and see if you can replace them with simpler words.

Compare: the light of the moon VS moonlight; the lecture by that professor VS that professor’s lecture

8. Add structure

Bullet points and lists can turn any information into more digestible content, improve the text structure, and make your writing reader-friendly. Besides, it will help avoid repetitions and overexplaining.

Compare: Summer is great because we have holidays. Besides, the weather is warm, and I see my friends more often. VS Top reasons to look forward to summer: 1. warmer days; 2. holidays; 3. friends’ time!

9. Keep the balance

After shortening all the excessively lengthy sentences, zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Sometimes, doing the opposite to obvious and combining short sentences into one helps to reduce word count and assist readability!

Compare: I feel good. The day is pleasant. It is also warm. VS I feel good as the day is warm and pleasant.

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